I hope you're safe and sound.

Hiya peeps :) How are you all? Hope ya'll are just fine.. I'm so happy my parents bought me an iPad. It was a really random gift by a really random surprise. I don't know what it was for though. Maybe it's for my PMR grades. Anyways, today we will be talking about my ex, Izzat. Our relationship lasted for a year. He was one year older than me. He's smart, he's tall, he's charming, he's funny, he's good at playing the guitar. He was a very sweet guy. But, we only had a relationship in facebook. We never have met in our entire life. But he was loyal to me. We used to call each other at night.. And our parents know about it. And they're fine with it.

We never have been in a fight. Except for that one time when I thought he was cheating on me.. I was upset and didn't talk to him for like 5 days. But, his friends told me that he would never do such a thing. Of course, cause I've known him and his friends for quite a long time, I believed what they said. And, it turns out to be true. He wasn't cheating at me after all. I told you he was loyal. He has never EVER flirted with other girls when he was in a relationship with me.

Everyday, he send me a text. In the morning "Good morning boo." I was never really into Boo/Darling or whatsoever. But it was kinda cute though. He would ask me if I've had my breakfast yet or not. And at night after talking on the phone with him, he never forgets to text me "Goodnight, sweet dreams, I love you so much (:" Even after a sweet fight, when he knows I'm a bit upset. He always make me smile no matter what he does. He's like a wizard, it's like I'm under his spell or something :)

He never fails to reply my texts. Even if his cell credit has expired, he goes to the nearest public phone booth. I guess he really loved me then. I thought that we could be the next IT couple :P We didn't really care what peoples think of us, dating on facebook and all. Who doesn't believe in love, anyways? Love has no limits. It is uncontrollable and unconditional. 

Everything was perfect then. Until one morning, I called him.. He didn't answer me. I thought maybe he was in the shower or something.. So I waited for him to call me back. I was worried about him. I fell asleep soon after. It was getting darker, and it was pouring rain. It was already 7.30pm. I wanted to call him again, but my parents were inviting me to dinner downstairs. After dinner, I ran up the stairs, checking my phone if there were any missed calls or new messages. But there wasn't any. I waited till midnight. Still nothing. Till tomorrow, till the next day, till a week..

A month had passed. I stalked his facebook page, nothing new. Except for the birthday wishes on his wall. There wasn't any reply to the wishes. It was kinda weird though.. I even asked his friends, they said they don't know where he is. He hasn't come out of the house, too. Maybe he got grounded or something. Cause I saw one of the wall posts from his friends saying something like he failed History.

Two months had passed since then, on my birthday, I sat in my room for the whole day. I tried calling him at least 30 times. I sent him at least a hundred texts.. He never replied any of them.. I cried my heart out that night. I wasn't giving up hope just yet. But I was heartbroken.. That's one thing for sure.

I was devastated. I don't know where he is, or what he is doing, or whoever he is with right now back then. So, recently, on 2011 new year's eve, I sent him a text.. Saying that I couldn't keep up anymore. I still keep the text that I sent him. I remember every word, every sentence. And I was ready to give up hope. Because I was hopelessly hoping on something that would never happen. So I let go of it. 

"Izzat, just because you haven't talked to me, or replied any of my texts, in like 4 months or so.. I'm breaking up with you. I don't know what had happened to you, or where have you been. Or if you're sick or something. I still love you though, no matter what happens. I just can't keep up like this anymore. I miss you terribly. I hope you understand.. I'm sorry, but this is the end of our relationship. Knowing you was probably the best thing that has ever happened to my life so far. You and I walk a fragile line, and I have known it all this time but I never thought I'd live to see it break. I'm so sorry. Goodbye.."

Ever since then, the usual thing happens. Yes, exactly, nothing. No sign of him. I cried every night.. I lost appetite.. My parents probably knew what stage I was on. One night I dreamed of him. He looked so pale. He looked so sad, so empty.. I looked at him closely from a distance. And I saw sorrow in his eyes.. We were close enough to touch, but I felt, deep inside he seems as if he's a thousand miles away from me. But, it were as if he was trying to tell me something. I woke up from that dream pretty soon. I thought I was going crazy. But I guess that's okay.. 

Until now, even though I'm in a relationship with someone else, I still expect a text from him. But nothing.. I just hope that he's safe and sound.. Wherever he is, whatever he is doing, whoever he is with, may God be by his side.. And let God give me the strength to face each day without him. 

My story is true. It's like Hachiko all over again. I miss him, so much..
>December 2010 - December 2011<

To the beautiful peoples out there..♥

Hello fellow readers :) How are you guys and girls? Hope ya'll are just fine. One of my dearest friends, Sara, sent me a meaningful message. Well, I don't know how to describe the message. It's about the strong, beautiful peoples fighting against cancer.


If you guys have heard of cancer, but don't really know what cancer is, cancer is a group of diseases characterized by uncontrolled growth and spread of abnormal cells. If the spread is not controlled, it can result in death.


I get it if you are facing a heartbreak or might be loosing the love of your life.. But, it's not all about you.. There are thousands or maybe hundred of thousands of peoples diagnosed with cancer every year. Their life depend on the doctors, to find a cure. They are hopelessly hoping on them.


So dear lovelies, pretties, handsome and beautiful, we all know life can be unfair to you sometimes. Friends leave, love hurts, peoples change, things go wrong, but just remember that life goes on. So, there is no need to cut yourself, to seek special attention.. Cause, inside, everyone loves you.. They just don't know how to show it.


I know how 'most' of you dear readers feel. My life is unfair, too. My brother gets everything that he wants from my parents. Even a car. But I'm confused, my grades are better than his. When I was 13, everyday I walk in home, I get slapped by my dad/brother. I don't really know why they used to do that to me.. Yes, honestly, they used to 'abuse' me. I thought of ending the pain.. But then I realized, that I was only 13. I have so much more things ahead of my life. And still I love them, because, I only have one dad and one brother in this entire world.. Now, they're fine with me.. I also face new kinds of problems in school.  In school, almost everyone is my friend.. But when I'm in trouble, only few stick up till the end. 


So, please, don't hurt yourself, considering you have a very perfect life.. If no one loves you, don't feel silly because you still love yourself. My friend is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He's taking pills so that makes him has no emotions.. He has no friends now because everyone think he's a liar. He tried to kill himself because of that. But I believe him. I care for him. He says that my support towards him has given him strength every day. He's becoming a better person because of the love and care I give him everyday. 




I know my words aren't very useful, but at least, the smallest change could make the biggest difference. So enjoy life as it is. 




Think of all the days you've wasted worrying, wondering and hopelessly hoping.
Think of all the time ahead. Don't hesitate, con tinplate, no, it's not too late.




Black is beautiful,
White is beautiful,
Skinny is beautiful,
Fat is beautiful,
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.


Thank you dear lovelies, for spending your precious time reading this post.

Konichiwa ;)

Aloha peeps. I'm Syasya. Peoples call me RaRaa/Syasya/Sya. I guess you guys can do the same. It's either one of those three choices. I am soon to be 16 this November 29th. I live in Semenyih,Selangor,Malaysia. I'm taken by an incredibly amazing guy..(Well I think I am taken by him. xP cause I love him so much. Idk what he feels for me though.) I'm honest to myself, and other peoples. I am/ can be :


Rude
Polite
Kind
Weird
Stupid
Geeky
Show-off
Retarded
Shy
Funny
Sometimes perverted
Friendly
Vicious




And many more.
YES I do have facebook. But it's set on private so maybe only if you have mutual friends then you can search me.


I am mix. Yepp, I have Chinese blood, Irish, Malay and maybe one or two more but I don't really care.


I do random things like eat a mango, breathe, touch my face.. Ya know? I don't really like to type long weird stuffs about myself cause it makes me feel icky.


I am more of an indoor person.. I don't really like to do outdoor activities ONLY when I am at home. I'm very active in school. I put smileys to express how I feel :D And I use CAPS LOCK to express HOW I'm thinking.


My idols are Demi Lovato and Taylor Swift. I am SO NOT A BELIEBER. I hate Bieber. Sorry if I had just crushed your heart for a second there. I also think that Selena Gomez is a slut. Hehe okay I'm sorry for my bad language. But it is true, that is what I think of her. I'm not really into gossips or whatsoever. It's just the truth.


I love to rap. But I can't rap as fast like in the song "Look at me now". Now that's just too extreme. Plus, the lyrics are kinda rude 0.0 I can rap "Love the way you lie, super bass, just a dream" etc xP


I love my cat..
But sadly she's missing :( I hope she finds her way back home..


I can be a real mess.. I sometimes just break down into tears when I think of someone that I used to love. Sometimes, I feel like running right through the rain, and dancing through the pain.. And let my heart beats louder, let my heart speak louder than my head.


I love to write poems. And sometimes, even songs.? I find that hard to believe. Even though it's true.


I dislike peoples who upload pictures on facebook, and the caption just has to be like "I'm not cute, I'm very ugly. I know I'm not pretty like you all other girls ;(" Seriously what the ef is wrong with you? I just feel like saying "OH YOU GOT THAT DAMN RIGHT WOMAN, YOU'RE SO UGLY. Cause you said it yourself. Seriously these peoples are blind or what? Stop bitching and accept the fact that you're beautiful."


I love to bowl. Yeahh, bowling with my dearest friends.
I also love to hang out at Mid Valley, Bangsar Village and Suria KLCC. No, I don't hang out to show my face to everyone. I go there to shop. For shoes or clothes.


Are those info enough? Cause I sure hope they are.
I apologize for my bad English.


So.. Umm.. Yeah.. Bye xP